I've finished transcribing, coding, and developing themes for my research...I've even just about finished drafting my lovely opus altogether, aside from the discussion bit. So that's marvelous. I imagine I sort of flew through the transcribing, coding, and drafting because of how interesting and exciting the work became. I wrote just as much as my literature review contains, but it seemed to take one tenth of the time to write the results as the literature review because I just loved every voice I listened to, every word I read before paraphrasing, and I loved to witness the true results emerge through my coding, theme-developing, and paraphrasing of my informants beautiful words. Throughout initial interviewing I remembered thinking, "How are all of these responses going to work together? How will this be cohesive? And how can I possibly report such complex ideas and findings?" At the early stages of research, all of the observations and interviews felt muddled and somehow unrelated. It was as if my eyes could only see what was directly one-inch in front of me at times, and coming home to my room at night was stressful as I tried to make it all relate in a meaningful way. However, making it relate was simple, really, in the end, because now--having the perspective of retrospect and having a near complete experience of actually living among my population--I have the ability to paint a picture from this perspective of retrospect, this perspective of outside looking in, but when I look in, I'm in there too with them.
Well the point is, thus far I've really enjoyed writing the results. I've really, really enjoyed it. And this experience at large has changed the way I teach and behave as a somewhat sane, ordinary human being (just kidding?) to a different, friendlier color. I approach difficult situations with more ease, gratitude, and actually a bit of thrill, because everything I approached in India was difficult, whether it be teaching situations, training situations, or simply solving logistical problems threaded in my life there. Most of all though, my understanding of universal, unconditional love is more powerful, firm, and everlasting than it's ever been. Throughout each answer to my queries in the interviews there are traces of Buddhist love and compassion, which are really just human love and compassion. Even though some of the things I witnessed and some responses were less than ideal, they were real, and there was always something human in them.
I analyze and critique little and big parts of my professional practice and personal conduct daily and more thoroughly as a result of my thesis study. Because it is a case study describing special education practices among a unique population, I was able to see inner-workings, designs, and purposes for practices that are already in motion in America, and the lack thereof among my population, as well as the results from the lack thereof. And because of this sight, I am better able and faster to change practices for improvement, and with an added measure of reason. After training the staff at Karuna Home and seeing drastic changes in such a short amount of time as a result, I became more "sold" on the research-based practices I've been implementing in my classes all this time. With all of this considered, I think the most unique part of my research is that I was able to see a school running based on very few research-based findings, and the teachers' and administrators' concerns and complaints as a result, all of which served as a baseline for further research, but also evidence of need for research-based practices and most of all: continual professional development. The staff at Karuna thirsted for knowledge unlike any other group of professionals I have ever encountered. They didn't attend trainings or approach conversations with me begrudgingly, in fact they came more prepared than I did oftentimes: always early or on time with something to write with and on, and objectives, assessments, and what little forms of curriculum they did have in hand. Every experience with them was humbling because of the gratitude and excitement I felt at them finally receiving answers to their questions and finally receiving an intervention idea to at least try. Aside from having this new perspective on special education and the practices chosen therein, I am a changed being from living among the Tibetan Buddhist refugee teachers, students, administrators, caretakers, physiotherapists, sweepers, gatekeepers, cooks, and so on, and every day strive to recreate certain elements of what I saw and felt in those classrooms, the dining hall, the dorms, the community outings, and especially the playground. Special education at Karuna Home may have its shortcomings, but one definite strength is the continual expressions of love and compassion between all who share the teaching experiences.
From my experience there, I've learned to really love the practices I have and have increased my desire to develop, alter, and improve strategies all the time. I've also learned to approach professional development with added seriousness and with an attitude of "I must learn something here, even if the presenter didn't intend for such," because in other areas of the world--of the country, of the state--people are starving for such an opportunity. The professionals deserve it, but above everything the children deserve it. This was something seen throughout all observations and interviews: the children deserve to reach their highest potentials with continual improvement of curriculum and instruction and professional practice, and all teachers at Karuna Home want this for their students. But again, more than anything my desire to express love and concern to all I encounter in teaching situations and human situations floats to my consciousness more now than ever before, and so too have my actions increased.
