A Trip to Bangalore

Lalbagh Botanical Gardens: Bangalore, India

1st Presentation

http://www.lorven.org

  Last weekend my roommate and I traveled to Bangalore with my friend from the flight to India, Ashok, to visit his mother’s schools: Lorven schools (http://www.lorven.org/News.htm).  The first campus we visited serves students from rural and suburban areas in grades kindergarten to 10^th grade.  We first observed classes, then had a Q&A session with several students.  The instruction at Lorven is rigorous, the response rate extremely high, and both students and teachers appear to take academics very seriously. 

2nd Presentation

            Well, a discussion commenced with the students for 30 minutes, and following it was another discussion with over 50 teachers at Lorven.  There were three of us at the front of the room during the discussion, each giving input as our disciplines allowed. Toward the end of this session, teachers began asking detailed questions about behavior management and instruction when Ashok turned to me said, “Britany, I think you can take it from here.”  I was sitting there in my chair with my fingers interlaced, legs crossed, and actually quite comfortable just engaging in discussion.  I mean actually just barely comfortable.  But then the phrase came, “You can take it from here” and I looked over at the people, at Ashok, then back at the people and thought, Well yeah, I guess technically I could take it from here. So I took it from there.  For almost an hour.  I stood up, picked up some chalk, faced the board and began writing my philosophy of education and behavior management on the board.  I wrote the word “DISCIPLINE” on the board and two lines coming out from it.  One line said “PUNISHMENT” and the other was “LEARNING.”  This is how I began my discussion on response to intervention and positive behavioral supports.  I wrote examples of punishment: humiliation, corporal punishment, scolding, etc. and then wrote examples of learning: positive and negative consequences with explicit instruction.  It is common in India to use corporal punishment as a means to manage difficult behavior or academic failure.  It is also very rare for positive reinforcement strategies to be in place, from my observations and discussions thus far, that is. 

            So on the following day it happened again: I was put on the spot and asked to present at two sessions, each at different Lorven schools with a different group of parents, teachers, and students.  The first session is the only one I anticipated having to participate in, and didn’t expect to be the main speaker.  I also didn’t expect that the PowerPoint I created would be unusable with India’s technology…so that was awesome.  I didn’t care, I closed my computer, picked up the chalk, and wrote, talked, and made terrible jokes in between. 

3rd Presentation

            The highlights of this experience for me were many and lasting.  Being able to discuss with highly skilled and caring teachers better ways to manage their students’ behavior and improve academic and social success was fascinating.  The teachers and parents were genuinely concerned and interested in how to improve the way they teach the children academically as well as how to be better people in the world.  Secondly, presenting for almost an hour three separate times to large groups of intelligent people was a huge challenge that would have normally hospitalized me. ;)  Seriously though, it was a positive experience for me to demonstrate my real understanding of the theory and concepts that I put into action in my classroom everyday.  There was something about the unplanned, unorganized nature of my presentations that made them more authentic not just to the listeners, but especially me.

            But don’t misunderstand me: I can’t describe how happy I am it’s over.  The PBS ghost possessed me during that weekend at Lorven, and lies dormant in my body I suppose until the ghost is called on as needed.  Like for instance, every day from around 3:00-5:00 the ghost appears as I train teachers at Karuna Home on behavior management in their classrooms and schoolwide.  I guess it’s my new companion.

Dinner at the "Cave" with Ashok & Britney.  It's like the Mayan!!

Lalbagh Botanical Gardens: Bangalore, India

Foodsick

6/4/2012	DEBIT	Checking withdrawal @ ATMCANARA BANK KUSHALNAGAR KUSHALNAGAR	$181.85
6/2/2012	DEBIT	SPECTRUM INTERNET NOTTINGHAM GB	$4.68
5/31/2012	DEBIT	BAJIO GRILL- RIVERWOODSAMERICAN	$7.52
5/26/2012	DEBIT	BARRY FAMILY DENTAL GROOREM UTUS	$165.00
5/25/2012	DEBIT	CAFE FRESH OREM UTUS	$8.03
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5/24/2012	DEBIT	CAFE RIO OREM OREM UTUS	$5.66
5/23/2012	DEBIT	CAFE FRESH OREM UTUS	$7.50
5/22/2012	DEBIT	AMAZON MKTPLACE PMTS	$19.99

Kushalnagar.

Today I looked at my bank account to see how it’s doing.  It’s doing good.  Nothing’s being done or doing.  I’m in India.  The blue stuff is my life since leaving America.  I’ve been to an Internet café thing in the airport in London (which totally ripped me off now I know!) and to an ATM in Kushalnagar.  Kushalnagar is a little town about 10 minutes away from where we live by rickshaw.  We go there to buy supplies and I’ve made copies of my consent forms and other things of the like.

Vegetables and fruits near the place of chocolates.

I actually haven’t gotten homesick at all really except for a few moments while sleeping on the bathroom floor with my vomit.  But looking at this bank statement seeing especially the food places made me somewhat homesick or I suppose foodsick, rather.  I am definitely not dentistsick.  I hate that man.  Anyway I’m missing Nic’s and Bajio, woo, I love those joints.  The food here is incredible too, but after throwing almost every different kind of meal up, I am not too stoked on returning to it straightaway.  In fact I kept telling Britney what I would give to have some chocolate and soda.  One Saturday while in Kushalnagar she grabbed my hand as soon as our feet hit the pavement from the rickshaw and dragged me straight to a shop with dozens of kinds of chocolate and cold sodas.  When I realized where she had taken me my eyes started gushing out of my head and my hands I rubbed together like a greedy little American girl and I began dreaming of the combinations of chocolate.  I took one of each kind of chocolate, mostly American stuff and Cadbury, and rushed to the sodas to get a nice cold soda.  I waited patiently in line tapping my foot and licking my lips until finally it was my turn to pay (which I did gladly and quickly) and as soon as the items were legally mine, I began opening and devouring them with sips of soda in between.  We walked along the streets of Kushalnagar for a bit and I just had a good old time with those treats and thought I was in paradise.  I was in paradise.

The remainder of the treats.  I'm going to eat the Cadbury like I'm Charlie Bucket.

Britney’s been saying to me how she’s never met someone who loves food so much.  She’s right.  And she never will in the future.  I always knew food and I were lovers, but being here amplifies my strange relationship with food.  I just love it!  We literally eat our meals at the sound of a bell on weekdays, so sometimes I’m like Pavlov’s dogs about the whole thing.  I’m Pavlov’s dog in too many respects.  That’s why I’m a master’s student at 23 I suppose.  And I’m tired and smell bad.

Sitting in the Back or to the Side

My objective every day since I got here has been to observe classrooms and interview educational service personnel.  The interviews are semistructured, audio-recorded, 30-minute minimum interviews.  The setting has been the teacher meeting room with two chairs facing each other across a table.  The teachers are highly cooperative here and are very honest and informative about skills they’d like to improve as teachers at Karuna Home.  I don’t know if revealing results on my blog before analysis is the smartest thing in the world to do, so I’ll keep things really shallow and just know excitement is lurking!

One of the best faces.

I’ve completed five interviews and hope to complete at least five more.  I observe all different classrooms every day during class time while taking detailed, structured notes.  During the first few observations I’m a total nuisance with my laptop and gadgets, even though I’m sitting in the back or to the side.  The students at first constantly turn around and point to my laptop and make typing gestures with their fingers.  One student blows kisses to me several times and many other students will simply walk over to me and give me a high five.  Many students think it's cute to make silly faces to me and each other, always hoping I'll be their audience. After a few minutes, though, I can become invisible and really be in the back or to the side. 

Sitting in the back or to the side used to be my “thing,” especially when finding a seat in church or class, but as a special educator in a special education classroom, I feel totally unnatural and almost uncomfortable in my own skin.  At the same time, the expectations in these classrooms are entirely different in some ways than the ones in mine, so even if I did follow through with my instincts on the first few days of observation and start behavior managing or instruction assisting it would probably flop. 

This is me strolling Karuna Home.

As I observe the classes and complete interviews, as I stroll the campus grounds and take notes on schedules, ideals, etc. posted on the walls, as I casually talk with service personnel, and especially as I play with the children on the playground my thoughts are in the most literal sense possible flooded with ideas.  Sometimes I sit back and laugh about the sudden surge of ideas because the first day I stepped into my classroom as a fresh teacher I was blank with ideas.  I trial and errored my way through many problems, while fortunately always being able to rely on my formal education.  In many ways I can empathize for the teachers here without special education training, as in some ways they are experiencing what I did on my first day of teaching every day they approach their work.  But in other ways they are educational veterans, so it’s actually completely different.

The point here is that when I first heard the expectation of my giving teacher training workshops, I had a few vague ideas about what an special educator might need a refresher in, but thought, “Oh great, what will I talk about?”  Now I’m asking the exact same question, but with the issue being that there’s just too much to talk about!  The trouble now is narrowing my ideas into practical workshops that are easily implemented in a short amount of time.  I feel determined to move forward putting my ideas to practice and also a strong sense of gratitude to my professors, my coworkers, my friends, my students, my family, and my aunt Jenny.  Any expertise I may have acquired was all at the hand of my teachers in life and finally I feel like the piece of paper I complain about that I’ve crudely stapled on the wall above my desk really means something.  The piece of paper is a silly evidence of my formal education, the same formal education I’ve mumbled and grumbled about all throughout acquiring it and even sometimes after.  At this point though, man, I owe a lot to that formal education, or I guess I’m just realizing my responsibility because of it as well.  I'm not going to quote Harry Potter right here, though I know it's totally appropriate.

One Week

This is earlier this week: I woke up at 5 a.m. and went running in a rocky, weedy, wobbly piece of land that an orphanage and prayer rooms will be built for Karuna Home.  It’s the safest place, though, because the main road is the road near us and people die on it all the time.  It was really lumpy and muddy and it was only ½ mile per lap, and only if we got creative during the laps with crisscrossing and the like.

Tibetan camps. After running, showering and breakfasting, we went to get my protected area permit from the police station.  We thereafter took a rickshaw to town and bought groceries and other necessary items.  After this we met up with Beau and Lori and went to the Golden Temple and the Tibetan settlement camps.  It is the most auspicious day in Tibetan Buddhism.  Today is Saka Dawa, the day the Buddha was enlightened.  Karma counts twice as much today, I’ve been told, and because of this, many offerings and rituals were being done at the Golden Temple and throughout the camps.  It was spectacular.  Seeing the monks and the people worshipping was beautiful. The sounds, the smells, the sights, all of it was sort of unreal.  I kept thinking of my brother Brandon the whole time, who really was born in the wrong part of the world.  He should be among monks.  I also let my thoughts wonder to the “Free Tibet” movement while passing shops selling shirts, purses, bags, and other items with the phrase printed on them.  As I was witnessing the worshipping and reading the phrase and reflecting on Tibet, Tibet, I began to feel a strong sense of connection to the need for the movement, and a completely different interpretation of what it means.  These people really have been in physical, spiritual, and cultural bondage in many ways, and yet what they have to offer to the world is beautiful and such an asset.  Without getting uncomfortably emotional, let it be noted that I was totally floored by what I saw today.

Children’s performance. Upon returning to Karuna Home, we were able to have a feast and watch a performance by the students.  I cried silently, of course, at the end of nearly every performance. Children with physical disabilities and mental disabilities—some mild, but most severe—were the stars of the show, and the people really loved seeing them.  No one was pitying them, they were admiring them.  It was fantastic.  I knew that these children are regularly relegated to beggars or other positions in life because of confused societal norms or inability to sustain them, but at Karuna they live.  They have such meaning in their lives. My participation was limited to sitting in the front row (!!) with my fellow BYU classmates and other visitors and monks while we ate snacks and drank soda.  At the very end of all the dances and song numbers the kids pulled us up to dance in front of everyone.  My dancing is like that of Elaine from Seinfeld, so they got the show of their lives.  My classmates probably felt ashamed when they saw the way my body moves. 

Research. The people here are extremely eager about getting teacher training from a special educator in a master’s program.  I think my sort of presence here is unusual—especially my being American.  Well I’m a Young American.  Like David Bowie says.  I’m a young American researcher/teacher/master’s student with many years experience and a very confused sense of humor.  The point is, people don’t want me sitting around here for three months watching them I guess.  Who would have thought?

After talking with two beloved professors from the excellent BYU, I’m relieved and happy to move forward with research.  They said it’s normal for ethnographies/case studies to have changing elements, and that I must complete my research as planned (at least interviewing and observing portions) prior to any training of staff, and that I could complete this in a shorter amount of time if things go well and train after. Completing big parts of the original research more quickly means I will be staying at Karuna thereafter entirely to train and volunteer and do other interesting research.  This makes me terribly happy, as I sometimes resent that I'm not intervening.  Soon!

New Arrival

Okay I’m here in freaking India. 

Running like I’m home alone.  The flight in Salt Lake city was delayed by HOURS.  As a result, the time in between connecting flights shrunk.  I was out of the plane and on the terminal with 13 minutes to spare before the flight to London left me.  Ralf talked to me on the phone and just kept saying, “Run. Run. Run.”  When I got off the plane, I bolted and ran and ran like I was in the movie Home Alone, so I laughed the whole way.  It was a long way to run and I barely made it.  I ended up next to a pair of grandparents and their granddaughter on their way to Sweden and some other obscure country for a graduation present to the g-daughter (spoiled brat!).  The grandparents were professors of psychology at Chicago University.  It made me terribly bored and uncomfortable.  At one point the grandma mentioned to me how it was gross to sit behind another plane ingesting the fumes of the other plane’s jet fuel.  She said it was stinky.  The grandfather persistently tapped on her right shoulder until she gave complete attention and said: “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say anything at all.”  This made me laugh hysterically and I even said, “Look at this guy!” as I pointed to the grandfather with my thumb.  The whole family was shocked by my rude behavior.  It just felt like, “If you can’t be absolutely calm and robotic, then don’t be.”  He needs to lighten up.  With his Ph.D. Just rhyming here.

A dear friend.  I sat by an Indian man wearing a button up shirt, casual pants, and a pair of cool spectacles on the plane from London.  I was tired and hungry and nodding off as I sat in a “spacious” airplane seat.  This man and I were determined the first hour of the flight to ignore each other’s existences, when finally dinner was coming and we had to put away our gadgets and exchange a few common phrases with each other regarding the weather, the flight, the food, etc. We talked the remainder of the flight about everything from arranged marriage to BMWs to education to religion to the fact that we normally dread the thought of talking to a stranger on an airplane.  We watched Taylor Swift and Mariah Carey music videos together on his iPad and a film on my laptop.  One of my favorite phrases he said about life was, “Everything is bull s#@$ anyway.”  Instead of being overly analytical about life and questioning motives or philosophy all the time, this theory is much more funny to me and peaceful.  This man made me feel so calm and safe and I had no worries at all about India from that point on.  He helped me fill out the customs form, carried my bags, waited for me to claim my baggage, let me use his phone to call Americans, exchanged my money for me, and even gave me his Indian phone to make sure he could track that I got to Karuna Home Safely.  He is an angel sent to me for a strange time in my life.

My first Indian meal and first experience with their...toilets.

The drive through India.

The driver.  He was very stylish and listened to Justin Bieber and other popular American music on the way back that I, of course, had never heard before.  There was one good 80s song and Black Eyed Peas song, but the rest was not my cup of tea.  Whatever that means.  The driver and I had some communication issues, but was fun to muddle through it.  It was hot with no air conditioning and pop music and terrible traffic, but it was the most fun car ride of my life. 

Being the special educator.  I’m excited in a weird way to be “the special educator,” but also intimidated.  I’ve been “the special educator” back at home, but here it seems to be a bigger deal because of the rare nature of people in this field.  Plus, nobody likes having anything expected of them, right?  Ha ha, I just want them to expect I’ll eat really well and go to bed on time, and that everything else will be extra.  Then I’ll really be the special educator of all time.

The kids.  The children are so beautiful and everything and more what I expected they’d be.  So much personality, love, and sweet spirits.  I feel surrounded my familiarity when I’m with them, and I’m thrilled to carry out my research and just be in their presence as much as possible. 

‘Til soon.