"the states"

My time in India is dwindling rapidly, which makes me feel totally out of sorts. The research has constantly been in motion, as I work closely with my informants daily in their classrooms and teacher trainings.  Even informal conversations and (participant) observations add rich information to my research.  Being involved in cultural programs and festivities gave me a whole other perspective on certain aspects of my research as well.  That’s enough about that, the point is time is running out, but the research is still going strong!  It will be exciting to better organize and analyze my data upon return to the states. 

I hate that I’ve adopted the term “the states” when referring to my homeland.  I’ve never been more aware than now of the fact that I am an American and I have a home and family in “the states,” which is a distant unattainable place to so many people.  It’s been strange to be constantly confronted with and reminded of my “nationality” or even this cultural identity I would have denied having until now.  Depending on the conversation, person, or moment I feel different each time I can say “I am an American.”  Many times I feel embarrassed, other times proud, and overall I feel like my being an American Mormon from Orem, Utah has been something that is finally interesting.  Never again will it be interesting, but for 3 months in India it was. J  I am an American. 

My privileged upbringing and living conditions have never been so apparent to me.  I’m not saying I constantly think to myself while fumbling around in the rubble of a ruined city and uncivilized people, “Oh I’m so lucky I’m so lucky!!” because actually I absolutely don’t, probably because I am not fumbling around in anything except lush shrubbery maybe, or once I fell really hard on a path while running through the farms.  I don’t feel like anything is ruined or uncivilized, in fact I constantly think to myself that these people are “so lucky, so lucky” in ways that are far more significant than temporal matters.  In fact, I’ll be losing a lot when I return to the U.S.  Here there is a sense of community, peace, selflessness, and general happiness that only exists in small conditional networks in my life in Utah.  Something must be written though regarding the fact that I may have acquired the gratitude everyone said I would about my life in America.  It isn’t the warm showers, toilets that are toilets, big fluffy beds, pizza at Nicolitalia’s, pretzel M&Ms, shopping malls and fast food, cars, movie theaters (oh, my gosh, did I tell anyone about the movie theater in Mysore?!?!  THEY BROUGHT MY FOOD OUT TO ME ON A TRAY), or any other American luxuries that I’ve grown an added gratitude for.  It is my students.  It is my parents, family, friends, and teachers.  It’s the sound of voices of the people I love and the examples they are to me of good human beings.  It is also education: books, libraries, media, discussion, art, music, etc. And okay fine I really am very grateful for pretzel M&Ms.

We went to Hampi last week and spent all day every day just bumbling around ancient ruins and Hindu temples. 

To read more and see good pictures, check out my friends’ blogs: 

http://beauhilton.blogspot.com/

http://britaroundtheworld.blogspot.com

No use rewriting history.  What in the world does that even mean?!

The box from “the states” (ugh) came Saturday but I’m unable to distribute materials to the teachers and students until Wednesday because today was a holiday and tomorrow we’re going on an outing.  The box was jam packed with wonderful supplies that these children and staff may have never seen before.  When opening the box and searching through all the giant bags I just kept pulling out one good thing after another and grimacing like a little girl on Christmas.  I’m sure the materials will have the same effect on the teachers and students here because I was excited and I don’t even get to keep any of it!  A very warm loving thank you to my mother and father, my dear friends, and my coworkers.  You’re all such selfless, lovely people.